Making a Decision

I've recently made a big decision about my life, and thought since I have this outlet I'd like to write about my decision making process and everything that I've been thinking about for the past 9 months or so. It's long, so bear with me...or don't. I really wrote this to get things off my chest and not for other people.

I've been involved with art pretty much all of my life, and one of the first jobs I was interested in as a kid (besides being a rock star) was being an artist. After many different career ideas, some serious and some not so much, I came back to art officially in the middle of my sophomore year. I never thought that I could make it as a full time artist because that plan sounded so vague, and I didn't have much faith in my artwork at that time, so I planned on becoming an art teacher instead. I figured that I could still be involved with art, but through a steady 9-5 (or 7:30-3:30) job with benefits and summers off to pursue my own artwork on the side. I discovered that I liked teaching, and was good at it. I loved putting together craft lessons for the kids at KidSpirit, and volunteering in the schools. Hell, most of the time I even liked teaching random subjects from a script in Korea. However, things started to change during grad school.

I loved the high school I was teaching at, I loved my mentor teacher there, and I loved the kids, but I hated the system that we were working in. I hated the overcrowded classrooms, lack of supplies (and we had a lot more supplies than other schools), pressure of time constraints, the grading (seriously! art can be really objective!) and the complete lack of a personal life that I had because I was constantly running myself ragged trying to keep up with the amount of work. Now I know that grad school isn't what real teaching is like, but I saw what the schedule was doing to the other teachers there, and they were all tired and stressed. My migraines got so bad that year that I would have to turn off the lights in my classroom and teach in semi-dark, and on more than one occasion I would come home and throw up because the pain had gotten so bad during the day. Still I liked the kids and I wanted to do right by them so I kept it up. Things got really bad after I went to the middle school. It wasn't only my mentor teacher there (who made me cry all the time), it was everything. There was NO TIME to do anything in, and the little time we had the kids mostly spent cleaning, I had to account for every single pencil and eraser I gave them because there were no supplies, they had redone the schedule so that I barely had a chance to learn their names before they were out of my class, and many of the kids were downright mean and nasty to me as my thanks for everything that I was doing.

I graduated with my Master of Arts in Teaching and my teaching license, still determined to teach and hoping desperately that my classes wouldn't be as bad as what I had experienced at the end of the year. I went to the Oregon educators fair with my newly printed resumes expecting to find some lead on a job only to leave feeling defeated and rejected. Everyone I talked to there basically gave a me "good luck with that..." when I told them I was there for art positions. Undaunted I watched EdZapp, the Portland public schools site, and Craigslist for teaching positions. By the end of the summer I had applied for 14 teaching positions and only had one interview for a part time job in an after school art program, during which the lady took one look at my resume and before I even sat down announced that I was over qualified. When the first week of school came and my husband and all our teaching friends went back to school I was devastated. I think I moped around the house for a week feeling sorry for myself until I made the decision to put together a studio and start making art.

Once I had a purpose again I started to feel better, but things still moved very slowly. I was starting from scratch with no supplies and no real plan or experience. Little by little I've put together a workable studio in my basement, got the supplies I need, figured out a system for making my art, bought myself a website, and have started getting my work out there in shows and galleries. I'm still not good about keeping a strict schedule, but I have a timeline mapped out that I try to stick with and I'm slowly getting better about being my own boss. I feel excited about the prospect of being a full time artist in a way I haven't felt excited about anything, including teaching, for a while.

However, now it's spring and the teaching positions are starting to open up again. People keep asking me if I'm going to look for a teaching job for next year, or they ask how the job search is going and offer suggestions. The first piece of advice they usually offer me is that I should substitute. Of course! Substituting! Why didn't I even think about that?! Newsflash: I know I could substitute, I just don't want to. I didn't get into teaching to be called randomly at 5 in the morning to teach a subject I'm not familiar with to a group of kids I don't know who will probably give me a hard time just because I'm a sub. Besides, the work isn't that good for people who are not already in the public school system. From what I've discovered the sub job are going to retired teachers who the principals already know and who are coming out of retirement and entering the sub pool because the economy sucks. The one sub list that I had a chance of getting on was closed. So...no I'm not going to substitute. The other suggestion is usually that I should get any job, work as a waitress, work as a barista, work in an office, didn't I hear that the grocery store down the street is looking for bag girls?! Well...if you think I'm the only one looking for work right now you apparently don't turn on the TV, radio, or walk outside and see the shops being boarded up. I've scoured Craigslist, searched the Multnomah county employment website, and applied to tons of jobs I'm qualified for. Everyone right now is looking for work and the only thing I'm really qualified for anymore is to teach (which I can't get into), but my masters degree makes me over qualified for everything else. Besides, I've done those jobs before. I've been the barista, the janitor, the warehouse worker, burger flipper, day camp instructor, office assistant, store clerk, English tutor, and camp counselor. I feel like I've put in my time doing jobs I don't like, I've gotten my higher education, and I'm ready for a career. I want something that I can do for the rest of my life. I'm tired of waiting for my "adult life" to start. I feel like the people in my generation were lied to. We were always told: "Study in school, get good grades and you'll get a good job". I got a f*#$%ing 4 point in grad school! Where is my good job?! I drop thousands in my education for people to tell me I should apply for the part time job at the coffee shop? I don't think so.

Everytime I do apply for one of those jobs my art suffers. Everytime I spend the day filling out online applications for some job I don't really want just to satisfy other people's expectations of what I should be doing I can't paint the next day. Everytime I look for other jobs I'm telling myself that my art is just a hobby, that nothing will come of it and that it's not a "real" job to be an artist. I can't keep straddling the fence like this, making art and creating plans for what I want to do with it while simultaneously telling myself it's just temporary. I need to make a choice, but it's been hard and I have a lot of questions. If I pursue art full time and it ends up being successful then will I ever get to teach? Did I waste all this time in college and grad school learning to be a teacher instead of concentrating more on my art? What about my masters degree? Did I just put myself into debt for a degree and a license I'll never use? Should I continue to pursue teaching even though the thought of teaching in a formal school setting fills me with anxiety and dread now? Will other people think I'm just being lazy and am avoiding work? What if nothing ever comes from my art? I've been asking myself all these questions and have been driving myself crazy for months, knowing that soon I'd have to make a decision by spring.

I have finally made a decision that makes my happy, keeps me sane and that works for both Mike and myself. I've decided not to apply for any more jobs, teaching or otherwise, and to pursue art full time for at least another year or so. Ever since I graduated from Western I feel like my future and my career has been in other people's hands and has been out of my control. Making art and being my own boss gives me that control back. I know that galleries and customers still determine if I make any money, but they don't determine if I'm working or not. I can get up everyday and work without needing to beg and plead for a job, and if I don't make money in one venue I can try something else. I waited 9 months for someone else to give me a job, but now I'm tired of waiting and am creating my own business instead. I don't have to give up on teaching entirely either. Many artists who I admire teach workshops out of their studios, and I've always wanted to teach art to kids after school on a weekly basis as well. When things are more stable and I'm able to buy extra supplies I can start teaching art the way I want to, without the pressure of grading, with whatever supplies I want to provide, for as long as I want the class to last, and with people who are choosing actively to learn about art. Eventually I hope to find a balance doing both, but in the beginning I know I'll need to concentrate on just my art. Mike supports my choice 100% and in fact has been my biggest cheerleader in all of this. He really believes that I can do something awesome with my art and I don't want to let him down. We will be fine living off of his income though things will be tight and certain things like cars, houses, and kids might be delayed a little. I can still afford my supplies because I do data entry for my mom about once a week for some extra cash and therefore am not putting us into debt to get my business started. If we weren't able to make ends meet I wouldn't be pursuing this, but now is really the perfect time to take a chance.

So that's my decision. No more searching or applying for jobs. If you don't take what I'm doing seriously I really don't care anymore. I already have a job; I'm an artist.

Starting Over

Well, this year didn't exactly go according to plan. I applied to about 13 different teaching positions and only got one interview for an after school day care program who took one look at my resume and told me I was over qualified. September came and went and all my teacher friends went back to school and I was left behind. I felt like staying in bed for a week. It was tough because I worked so hard to get my license and nothing has come of it. I have a 4 point and taught in a foreign country!! Does that mean nothing to you people?!

Everyone has advice for me. Subbing is their main solution. I'm sorry, but teaching subjects I'm not qualified in, with students that aren't mine, in a school that probably turned me down for a teaching position...nothing about that gets me excited. I also don't want to just teach art classes at my house after school because I don't want to be used as daycare, I don't have any supplies, and what about liability? What if little Timmy lights himself on fire in my house while we're drawing (don't ask why there would be fire, I'm sure they'd find some)? Right now I don't want to take on children without the support of a school.

So, that leaves me with what options? Work at a coffee shop or warehouse like I used to? Retail? Office work? Waitress? I've been on the teaching path for so long that most of my non-teaching positions are more than 5 years ago. I've now had 11 jobs in my life and feel exhausted by the meaningless work, awful coworkers, incompetent bosses, and constant threat of being let go. The more I thought about applying for jobs the more depressed I became. I didn't want just a job, I wanted a career. My teaching path might be at a stand still, but that doesn't mean I have to be. After a lot of thinking, sleeping in too much during the weekdays, and one too many nights surfing the internet past a reasonable time, I decided to become a full time artist. It's not something I ever considered before because it seemed so uncertain and open ended, but right now it feels like exactly what I need. It can become whatever I make of it and I'll be in charge (to a certain extent). It's big and scary but it feels exciting and that's something I haven't felt since I was teaching.

Now the research and creating begins. I've already created myself a studio space in the basement after I swept away a ridiculous amount of dead spiders, bought myself some art supplies to start with, and have bought a few special art related things on Craigslist. The most important and useful thing I bought were two tickets to the Open Studios Tour. During the 2nd and 3rd weekends in October 100 Portland artists open their studios for the public to walk through. Tickets cost $15 and it's been so worth it! I've already got contacts for framing, galleries, supplies, and some really awesome painting tricks, and that's only from the first weekend. I was so inspired by all the creativity this weekend that today I made my first painting since college, and while it sucked (really it looks terrible) I'm still excited and optimistic about this adventure.

This blog, along with my life, has changed directions. Instead of being centered on education it will be documenting my journey to become an artist. It will be a lot of creating, research, networking, and putting myself out there in ways I never have before. Hopefully soon when people ask me what I do I can call myself an artist without laughing or adding "kinda".

Here's to starting over, peace!

Graduated!

Well I actually did it...I graduated! It got pretty tough towards the end there, and to keep my head above water I had to cut myself off from the world and work. I was student teaching a freshman class at the high school in the morning, then driving over to the middle school and teaching two 7th grade classes in a row. After teaching and inhaling my lunch I usually tried to work on my 2nd work sample on my laptop for the rest of the day. This last term, while a little lighter on the work load, was emotionally draining and I was often fighting back tears or yells of protest during the day. Nothing like a good cry in the kiln room eh? Without going into details, lets just say that you can't always choose who you work with and as a grad student you have to grin and bare it...then drink when you get home.

There were several things that got me through this term besides alcohol though. What really helped me the most not just this term, but this entire year was my fiance Mike. Without his support, home cooking, advice and love I don't know if I would have survived this year without an ulcer. The other big thing that got me through was actually my students. I had some amazing classes this year that I really bonded with (shout out to the 1st period freshman art class in WACA!) and although at times we all wanted to strangle each other I think everyone learned something important, maybe me the most of all. Other people that I should thank are my mentor teacher Cathrine who is the most patient, inventive and dedicated teacher I've met, and my entire cohort at Western who always kept me laughing when I wanted to cry or fall asleep in class (remember: the answer is always Marzano!).

Please excuse the sappy rant, but the finality of this adventure is starting to sink in and I have a good glass of dessert wine beside me. I read in an NEA magazine once that every teacher should have an emergency file for when they don't think they can make it another day and they're wondering why they chose teaching. They recommended that you put in inspirational articles, letters from students, or anything else positive and motivating. Above my fiance's computer he's taped a story that he got from a coworker about teaching, and every once in a while I'll read it and am reminded of why I'm doing this. He recently found the online version of the article and I thought I'd post it here. Although I'm sure that many of you have read it before I encourage you to print it out and start an emotional-emergency file of your own for those days when you find yourself crying in the kiln room.

Peace, and remember: you make a goddamn difference!

http://rattle.com/blog/2009/04/what-teachers-make-or-if-things-dont-work-out-you-can-always-go-to-law-school-by-taylor-mali/

Work Sample Lessons

I realized after looking at my last post that it isn't that useful unless you are writing a work sample. So for all those teachers out there that just need some good lesson plans I'm giving you just the part of my work sample is actually taught in the classroom. All the lesson plans, handouts, tests, and slide shows. If you're looking for an interesting way to teach color and line this unit might be a good fit.

Peace!


Goals and Objectives
Lesson Plans
Handouts
Pretest
Posttest
Rubrics
References
Slide Shows
History of Graffiti
Line Examples
Color Examples
Test Graffiti Slides

Visual Art Rubric

Well it's been a while since I've posted anything because I got busy with grading, then with the flu. Just a little reminder to all the teachers out there that the flu shot takes less time and is less painful than the actual flu. I guess they even come in a nasal mist now (no needles!). Anyway, thought I'd quickly post something that has saved me lots of time so far: my complete visual art rubric. I use it to grade just about every project at the high school because effort, craftsmanship, composition, creativity, and use of medium are important in any project. At the beginning of the year I went over the whole rubric with the class so they knew exactly how they'd be graded. Right now it's out of 20 to match my mentor teacher's system, but can be altered for what you need. I don't have the actual word document anymore so it's a jpeg, but if you needed to make any changes it's pretty easy to retype. When I have more time I might redo it myself in case I wanted to change anything. It's been really efficient having one grading sheet to worry about (and try to find next year) instead of boxes full, and the students get used to it and learn what the different areas mean more in depth. Hope it saves you some time!

Visual Art Rubric

Peace!

Elements and Principles Slide Shows

I just finished making some slide shows on Power Point for a computers class and thought I'd share them. The first one is on the Elements of Art and has action buttons to advance the slide show, and the second one is on the Principles of Design and is self advancing (requirements for the projects). Most of the pictures and photos are mine and people are free to use them if they want to and the voice over is me, but if you wanted to take my voice off that would easy to do. There are also some hyper links that connect to a really good website for the Elements and Principles:

http://www.artsconnected.org/toolkit/index.html

At the end of both shows is a hyperlink to a course outline I wrote that uses the Elements and Principles (again a requirement of the project you could take off). Feel free to use course outline if you would like, but I should mention that I did get the sculpture project from the Arts and Activities magazine (I'll give credit where it's due).

I also have a slide in each show with a mnemonic device for memorizing the Elements and Principles which I used to study for Praxis. It's really helpful if your kids have problems remembering the terms.

Elements of Art Slide Show

Principles of Design Slide Show

Peace!

Guidelines for Success Posters

I figured it was about time I added something useful to this page. I thought about one of the first things I made in grad school for my future classroom and thought that would be a good place to start. So here are my Guidelines for Success. When I introduce it to the kids I ask them to read each line and tell me what it means to them, and we discuss each topic a little as we go down the list. Then I ask what word it spells out and when they say "ARTIST!" I tell them yes, and in this class we're all going to strive to be artists and these are the traits of an artist. I also have included another one I made for non-art classrooms that spells out STUDENT. I just recently had the ARTIST one made into a large poster for my class which I'm excited to hang, and I have it on my syllabus.

Peace!

Artist Guidelines for Success

Student Guidelines for Success

The Beginning...

Well, this is my first post on my blog. Welcome! My name is Chantel and I'm currently in my last term of graduate school earning my Master of Arts in Teaching. When I'm done I'll be certified in both middle and high school art. I'm starting this blog for a class project, and at first I wasn't even sure I wanted a blog, because I didn't think I had anything interesting to say and I was worried about having personal information on the web because well....I have to be professional as a teacher. After thinking about what I want to say, who I'd want to read it, and who I'd write it for, I decided to dedicate my blog to art education. I'll discuss and present anything art or education related. That means lesson plans I've made, found, or been given, fun craft projects for art day camp classes (which I taught for two years) or just for fun, personal art I'm making, art events locally in Oregon, educational sites, classroom tools I've made in my grad classes, education theory discussions, and useful links for teachers (art or otherwise).

So I'm dedicating this blog to all those under appreciated art teachers out there. The teachers that encourage experimentation and risks, the teachers that stay after school so students can use the supplies they couldn't otherwise afford, the teachers that donate their own pencils and brushes when the class runs out, the ones that put their own art aside to teach others for a while, and who are constantly trying to wash paint (or is it printmaking ink?) out of their new khakis. I'm inspired by all the teachers I've met, and wish that I could someday be half the teacher they are. I hope this blog can be a resource for some of you, and maybe a way to feel that you aren't so alone in your subject as I sometimes feel (only art specialty in my whole cohort). I hope to hear some of your stories, and if you ever come to a Portland First Thursday gallery opening you might run into me. I'll be the debt laden new teacher in the corner drinking the free wine and putting rolls in my purse.

Peace!